I was sitting with my son in a moment where he was frustrated. My words to him were, “Son are you angry? If you are it’s okay to express it. If you are mad at me, don’t be afraid and hide it.” We had an agreement where he could ask for a safe zone in order to express himself. His emotions are real and I don’t want him to ignore them. Our safe zone allows him to express them so that they can be dealt with.
Man, I have dealt with an array of emotions recently. My dad is suffering and I’m not sure when the end will come. It’s amazing the unexpected feelings that can bubble up when you are staring brokenness in the face and there is nothing you can do to fix it. I say “unexpected” emotions because I have shed very little tears. This horrendous journey has been such a long one for my dad and for my family that my emotions have been mostly numb while in the presence of my dad. I’m staring at him now as he lays almost lifeless but very much alive and I feel more like a chaplain than a son. No, not even a chaplain, because I don’t even know what to say or do half of the time. Sometimes I feel angry. Sometimes that anger is directed at others. Sometimes myself. Sometimes God.
What I’m thankful for is a Heavenly Father that gives me a safe zone to express my emotions. He doesn’t want me to cover the shame that some of my unexpected emotions can bring about (Genesis 2:25; 3:7-10). If I hide it from God, it can’t be healed. If I don’t uncover my pain, then I’m not giving God the opportunity to cover it in his grace. God can handle our emotions (Psalm 10:1; 22:1; 42:9; 44:23-24; 74:1, 11; 79:10). In fact he wants to! It doesn’t mean that our emotions are always justified, but they are real. He wants to handle it because he loves you deeply. Yea it may not feel like it right now and if it doesn’t then tell him that too. I’m thankful for my safe zone with God. Lord knows I’ve needed it.